The Stars Haunt Me

I see them when I drive to work. I see them when I take Kimberly to band practices and games. They are everywhere. Everywhere I go, I see the stars people hang outside of their homes.

Why do people have these stars? Is it just a decorating fad like the shiny bowling balls people had in their front yards? Or does the star indicate membership in a secret society? Do people post the stars so they can be identified by other members of the group? Do they pass information to each other by knocking on the front door or leaving a symbolic object on the lawn?

This is starting to sound like a great idea for one of those investigative-unsolved mystery television programs. The star segment could be included on an episode Men in Black (the phenomena, not the movie) and that town in the Midwest where people hear a constant buzzing sound.

I have sometimes thought of hanging one of those stars at my house. If I did, I imagine the following scenario.

I am sitting at home one day. I am writing a new entry for Yes That Really Happened, acting as human dog door for Joe and Shelly and timing how fast Kim can send a text message. Suddenly there is a knock at the front door. After holding the cats so they do not make a break for the great outdoors, getting Shelly to be quiet and being surprised to find that Joey was awake, I finally open the door.

I see a stranger standing on the front deck. ( They see a stranger also because if I do not know them, chances are they do not know me. Unless they are a fan of this blog and became obsessed with me. Then I would have more problems then just wondering about the stars. I guess I have to stop watching so many Lifetime movies, especially when they run a “psychotic obsession weekend” film festival).

Anyway, back to the stars. The person at my door does not introduce themselves or ask if I am Kathy Kerr. This person just says something very obscure such as “The tall man wears yellow socks.” They say nothing else and just turn and walk away.

They feel their mission is complete. Little do they know the message has been passed to someone who has no idea what is happening.

That is why I will not hang a star outside of my house.

If any readers have an explanation about the stars please contact me so I can sleep at night.